Bryan Hullihen and Accepting What is

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As an alcoholic I have made so many mistakes over the years. I have landed in jails, prisons, and countless treatment centers. I have found myself homeless and, at times, too ashamed to call those who still love me for help. I have created so much wreckage in my past due to my alcoholism that even with several years of sobriety I haven't been able to make all of my amends yet. It's not that I haven't tried it just that there were so many I haven't been able to do them all yet. One night, not long ago, I was reflecting on my life and with years of sobriety and a moderate level of success in helping others improve their lives I began thinking about how I wanted others to see me. With that subtle character defect of mine working to creep back into my life a flood of fear and lack of acceptance followed. One of my primary defects of character is caring too much what others think of me. One of my favorite quotes is from Tom Brady - the QB for the New England Patriots - when in an interview for his 2018 documentary he stated "if I am putting energy out there attending to what everybody else thinks or defending myself against their opinions then I don't get to be who I want to be".  You see, I was beginning to think, "oh man, my life is built upon helping others so I need to present myself to be as perfect as I can and try to hide my mistakes from my past".  That one "sick" thought, which was driven by fear, began to cause so much discomfort in my life and my spirit. At that moment, and as I write this to you, I see how wrong and unfair that is. Not only to the world but to myself as well. To deny the world of the truth about me is to live a lie and to live a lie is to slowly die. The truth is nobody is going to be perfect and one of the few things that can be perfect are genuine experiences. We must own our past, correct any damage we have caused others, avoid situations where we may cause future damage, and be who we are. I'm not saying that we allow ourselves to be defined by our worst moments. What I am saying is that we can never be free, truly free, until we accept where we have been and who we are and do all we can to right any wrongs from our past. For me, I'm learning to simply be who I am and think more about what I can contribute to life instead of only what I can get. If I am trying to control how others see me then I'm only thinking about me and if I am being honest about who I am then I am thinking about what I can contribute. Thank you all for your time and support and I look forward to reading your comments. And as usual you can message me on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/soberlivingarizona or through my website at https://bryanhullihen.wordpress.com/.

Your friend,

Bryan Hullihen

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